Wednesday 9 December 2015

How To Be More Confident - A Step-by-Step Process

10 Ways To Feel Happier!

10 Simple Fat Loss Tips / How To Stick To A Diet

Inspirational Video On Increasing Your Confidence

The Happiness Effect - by Josiah Harry

What is happiness? And where does it exist? What is its origin? What is the source of happiness? What types of people are likely to be happy?

Is happiness circumstantial? This is to ask: Is happiness a concept or an experience that is based on an external reality? Is happiness simply an inward feeling or positive emotion? Is happiness a state or a trait? Perhaps happiness is a matter of perspective?

Let's begin our deconstruction of happiness by saying no matter what definition is applied to happiness; it is a fact of life that happiness plays a significant role in the deepening of one's spiritual journey (not in the religious sense). The deeper question that should be asked as it relates to happiness is: What conditions favor happiness?

First, let's define happiness. Happiness is a state of subjective well-being. When a person says she is happy, that person is actually relating experiences that make life worth living. By saying she is happy, she is simply explaining how she experienced happiness. Happiness, therefore, is the degree to which an individual determines that the overall quality of life is meaningful.

Happiness differs across societies and over time. Although happiness is a subjective experience, it can be objectively measured, assessed, correlated with observable brain functions, and related to the characteristics of an individual and the society.[1]

According to the World Happiness Report, there are two kinds of happiness. The first is affective happiness, which refers to time with family, and the pleasure and joys of friendship, and sex. The second kind of happiness is evaluative happiness, which refers to the various dimensions in life that lead to overall satisfaction with one's place in society. Higher income, good health, and positive interactions with one's society are examples of evaluative happiness.

Both affective and evaluative happiness present happiness as a state of wellbeing that is the by-product of pursuing meaningful activities and relationships. Here's what affective and evaluative happiness are not saying? They are not saying that the happiness occurs in isolation. This is an important point to remember, as we will see later.

Another theory of happiness is called the zero sum. The zero sum theory of happiness suggests that happiness is cyclical. This theory says happy periods are always followed by unhappy periods. Although there are times when unhappy moments shadow happy occasions, there is no solid evidence to suggests that this is always the case.

The eudaimonistic view is another view of happiness. The eudaimonistic view emphasizes the actualization of human potential-finding meaning and purpose in life. "Eudaimonia occurs when people's life activities are most congruent or meshing with deeply held values and are holistically or fully engaged. Under such circumstances people would feel intensely alive and authentic, existing as who they really are."[2] One can also argue that to be eudaimon is therefore to be living in a way that is well-favored by a god.[3]

Skeptics and ideologues alike have at times bemoaned the miseries of life as reasons that happiness is ultimately neither sustainable, nor possible. Others have reasoned that happiness is tied to the pursuit and involvement of pleasurable activities (I.e., hedonistic view). There are those who have even suggested that happiness is a state of dillusionment based on misguided hope of a future utopia.

Those arguments are both narrow and inconclusive, and are matters of perception in that happiness involves more than a pursuit, or state of mind. Those claims are also poor predictors of individual choice and well-being.

Happiness is more than a state of mind. Happiness is an experience of contact. What's being said here is that happiness flourishes at the level of interaction. That is, happiness is activated when it interacts with external forces. Let's call the external force (v) for value.

The first value is self-acceptance. Self-acceptance means holding positive attitude towards self, and is a characteristic of self-actualization, optimal functioning, and maturity.[4] The premise of self-actualization is that it involves the actualization or full use of one's abilities or potential, which includes meaning in life, positive self-esteem, personal responsibility, self-awareness, intimacy, empathy, realistic perceptions, insight, and resistance to undue social pressure.[5] In other words, when a person has a positive regard of self, the resultant behavior will reflect that person's positive value system, which in turn translates into happiness.

The second value that intersects happiness is positive relations with others. Positive relationship with others is expressed through warmth, trust, and by feelings of empathy and affection for all human beings.[6] Life ceases to have meaning if people are not able to get along and live in harmony.

The third value is autonomy. According to research studies, a fully functioning and autonomous person: (1) does not look to others for approval, but evaluates oneself by personal standards; (2) does not cling to the collective fears, beliefs, and laws of the masses; (3) and is self-determined, independent, and regulates his or her behavior from within.[7]

The next value that activates happiness is environmental mastery. This refers to a person's ability to choose, create, and control complex environments that advances a person's goals and aspirations.[8]

The fifth value of positive psychological functioning (I.e., happiness) is purpose in life. Purpose in life describes an individual who has a clear vision and well-cultivated sense of directedness. This is a person who functions with resolute intentionality and has an undeterred commitment about being productive and creating or achieving emotional integration in life. This individual uses his environment to create meaning and advance his vision for sustainable success.

Personal growth is another value that activates happiness. Personal growth refers to an openness and readiness to adapt to change, confront new challenges, and embrace the transitory nature of reality specific to one's place and time in history. It is the development of oneself through the lifespan.

As critical as these values are to happiness, these values should be looked at as variables that converge with one's worldview. This implies that there isn't a single factor that can inspire happiness unless a decision is made to be happy.

A person might be able to make you smile, but that individual cannot produce happiness in you. A person might be able to satisfy your sexual desire, yet that person cannot manufacture happiness from your being. A person might even be able to give you temporary bouts of emotional satisfaction; however, that person will not be able to implant happiness into your existence.

The occasion of celebrating happiness is derived from an outlook that embraces reality for what it is. The fact is, life is marked by both promising and unfulfilled days. If you live long enough, you will experience emotional distress. There will days marked by economic uncertainty. There will be times where relational tension becomes the pink elephant in the room. There will be unforeseen physical setbacks.

So, what types of people are most likely to be happy?

Individuals, who amidst the most severe drought in their personal lives choose to have a fulfilling existence. People who choose to nurture relationships by engaging in acts of kindness, honest communication, emotional support, love, intimacy, acceptance, forgiveness, transparency, understanding, and mutual risk taking. People, who despite how they are treated recognize their power to change the way they see themselves.

You can choose to live with a wealthy outlook though in the midst of scarcity. Think of your life in terms of seeds and not trees. Renowned preacher, T.D. Jakes, speaking to an audience in Australia, remarked that some people often go through life looking for the large blessings while despising the day of small beginnings. He said the big thing we are looking for (I.e., the tree) is found in the seed.

If we focused our energy on planting the seed, nurture the germination process, and allow nature to do its job, then the very things we craved will blossom into existence. Happiness will define your existence to the degree you have a vision that centers on happiness despite your present reality. Happiness will saturate your life when you decide that you are in control of your life.

The big picture -"What conditions favor happiness"- let's look at it. The happiness effect is determined by your inner strength. One can suppose that the influence of objective reality on individuals' happiness and satisfaction depends on the value given to the event. For example, people may experience difficulties across some or all of life's domains including relationship, finance, health, and career, yet choose to center their happiness on a belief that reality is dynamic and filled with promise.

The one constant about happiness is that it is entirely up to us to fill our lives with it. Happiness is experiencing inner serenity with the path we have chosen to travel. Happiness comes from the experience of being in sync with oneself, others, and the universe.

Someone might still be asking, "Where do we look to find happiness?" When we descend into the deepest recesses of the soul and bask in the sunlight of our inner peace we no longer have to search for happiness. Happiness will come looking for us.

1. Helliwell, J., Layard, R., & Sachs, J., (eds.) (2012). World happiness report. The Earth Institute, Columbia University, New York, USA.
2. Ryan, R. M., & Deci, E. L. (2001). On happiness and human potentials: A review of research on hedonic and eudaimonic well-being. Annual review of psychology, 52(1), 141-166.
3. Malpas, J., Davidson, D. (2012). The Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy. Edward N. Zalta (ed.). Retrieved from
4. Ryff, C. D. (1989). Happiness is everything, or is it? Explorations on the meaning of psychological well-being. Journal of personality and social psychology, 57(6), 1069-1081.
5. Beaumont, S. L. (2009). Identity Processing and Personal Wisdom: An Information-Oriented Identity Style Predicts Self-Actualization and Self-Transcendence. Identity, 9(2), 95-115.
6. Ryff, C. D. (1989). Happiness is everything, or is it? Explorations on the meaning of psychological well-being. Journal of personality and social psychology, 57(6), 1069-1081.
7. Ibid, p. 1071.
8. Ibid, p. 1071.

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Sunday 6 December 2015

How to get everyone to say YES


We would all love it if everyone said yes when we asked for something, right? I know I personally adore the idea. However, most people think that to get everyone to say yes to sensible requests would require some sort of sorcery or manipulation. You need neither genie nor sleazy con-artist to get there, I promise!

We are all human; we form the requests in our mind, go over the question and it all sounds perfectly reasonable, yet there is still some apprehension on our part, mainly based on how we’ve imagined the person to be that we’re about to ask!  When it comes down to it, we all have the ability to negotiate and ask with the best of them – even when it comes to the naysayers in our lives.

The first step towards getting positive answers is to never ask for anything that you don’t genuinely expect people to say yes to. Sounds obvious right? Also sounds a little crazy. You see, I’ve always applied a simple rule in my business; never sell anything I wouldn’t buy myself. Then it becomes so much easier to get people to say yes.

Depending upon the situation, you can also pose the request as though the person would be helping you. Experts in psychology and communication have often pointed out that this method has proven especially effective when it comes to winning people over. It helps the person feel more invested in the request and generally more friendly to the idea.

People like feeling involved with what they do, as though they are playing an important role in a movie – you are the hero of your story, but they are the hero of theirs. Phrasing a request to make their ego feel as such is a step in the right direction. This isn’t manipulation, it’s human nature. Go back to my earlier point – never ask for anything you wouldn’t do yourself, never sell anything you wouldn’t buy yourself and never manipulate people.

Another rock solid and simple approach is to demonstrate to the person that you are speaking with that not only will they see benefits from saying yes, but those benefits will also be aligned to their own interests.

Let’s face it, we’re all human – being human means that most of us don’t have purely altruistic intentions all the time. If we commit to something, our interests will typically fall into how it could ultimately benefit us.

You don’t have to take the sleazy car salesman approach in doing it either. In fact, if you take the time to explain the benefits to their interests it shows that you respect them enough to make a personal approach and feel comfortable doing so. No one likes being asked for something by a person that they barely know.  However, if you spend the time to get to know the person you are wanting a yes from, you can guarantee much more positive results.

I have always found that the best way to get a yes from everyone is honesty and investment. A little psychology doesn’t hurt either, though I wouldn’t recommend implementing a full couch session. If you want to get that “yes”, take the time to make it mutually beneficial to both parties … and never, ever ask for a yes from someone if you would say no.

I’d love to know … How do you get a “yes” from people in your life?


Monday 30 November 2015

How To Create The Work You Love - Shaa Wasmund

Go To
 For many years, I ran the type of business I thought I was ‘supposed’ to … you know, the one with investors, board directors, 50 page business plans … Now don’t get me wrong, there was much about that business that I loved, but also a lot that I didn’t. I was building a business based on what I thought I ‘should’ be doing.

Growing up the way I did, stability and financial security were paramount to me. I thought the only way I could create that was by building what I thought was a ‘proper’ business. I needed an office, staff, investment, a full time FD, share options, the whole 9 yards.
I believed that if I did this, everything would work out just the way I wanted it to.

For a while, at least on the surface, this was true. I had the material trappings that most people associate with ‘success’. Beautiful homes, fabulous holidays, and all the MacBooks a girl could wish for, but there was so much more missing.

The joy from waking up every day totally loving what you do.  Being on purpose. Being in flow. Being able to truly tread your own path.

I know it’s easy to say when you have enough, but money really is just a small part of real success.

I’m pleased to say I not only found a way to create the work I truly love, but I’m doing it each and every day … and making more money than ever before.

Is that really possible?

Yes, it is and this is how you can make it happen it too ….

1. Believe it can. 

I know this might sound trite to some of you, but if you don’t believe it can happen, I can guarantee you it won’t. Lots of people call this a ‘soft skill’, in my experience, our minds are actually the hardest skill to master.

2. Get really, really honest with yourself. 

Don’t limit what you want to do or how you want to do it by other people’s limitations. This is your life, not theirs. For way too long, I lived my life according not only to what other people thought I should do, but what I thought I should do … which was quite different to what I really wanted to do! We have one life, surely it’s time to live it fully? Dream big, plan well, work hard …

3. Learn to say no.

Stop saying yes to things you don’t want to do so you have more time to say yes to the things that really count. Like doing the work you love.

4. Find your flow.

Think about what you do now, then think about all the things you’ve done in the past … what part of all that work, of all your experience and all you expertise truly sets your soul on fire? That’s where you  find you flow. That’s where your genius lies.

5. Now find a way to monetise it.

Think you can’t? Think again. There people out there making $1m a year from a site dedicate to green smoothies (and it’s the bomb) there are other’s making $50,000 in online fitness membership courses, not to mention the photographers making 5 figures a month teaching regular people just like you and me to take better photos … if you’re passionate about it, if you’re in your flow, doing work you truly love, you CAN and WILL make the money you need too.

6. Don’t let others try to put you off.

There will be plenty of people who will tell you not to even try. They will want you to stay in your comfort zone, doing the things that you do now, doing what they know. The thought of you truly pursuing your dreams will take them out of their comfort zone, not because they don’t love you, but because it scares them. That’s OK. Just remember, in this world, we regret far more what we didn’t do than what we did. When it comes to creating the work you love … Regret always weighs more than fear.

7. Start.

Now. You don’t have to jump ship altogether in one go, but stop procrastinating. Get on with it. What could you start doing now that would pave the way to creating the work you truly love? I started the beginning of 2014 by talking on stage with Brendon Burchard, that one talk led to my first workshop, then my second … and as they say, the rest is history!

“The best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. The second best time is now.”

Old Chinese Proverb

I’d love to know what work you’d truly love to create ….

Read more from Shaa at

Huge Inspiration from Life Class and Oprah

How To Make A Successful To Do List

How To Be Consistent: 5 Steps To Get Things Done, All The Time

Self-Improvement Tips : How to Overcome Shyness

Monday 23 November 2015

10 Secrets to Achieve Financial Success - Anton Kreil

Tony Robbins : The Power of Choice

T. Harv Eker: How to Accept People for Who They Are

The Landmark Forum

Here is a brief overview of a great course I participated in years ago - The Landmark Forum.

I did a few of their courses at the time, and found them to be of real benefit, so thought I would share some information here on what the course provides (taken for their website) in case it may be of benefit to you in any way.  Please feel free to ask me any questions you may have.


The Landmark Forum

The Landmark Forum, our flagship program, is designed to bring about positive, permanent shifts in the quality of your life—in just three days. You’ll experience a new and unique kind of freedom, effectiveness, and power—the freedom to be at ease in any circumstance, a new effectiveness in areas that really matter to you, and the power to make what you’re committed to into a reality. In those areas of life that are most important to you—the quality of your relationships, your personal productivity, the difference you’re out to make, the degree to which you enjoy your life, and more—you’ll experience benefits both practical and profound that continue to expand and unfold over time.

The Landmark Forum: What’s in It for You

Bring about positive and permanent shifts in the quality of your life, and create power, freedom, full self-expression and peace of mind for your future.

The Landmark Forum is specifically designed to bring about positive and permanent shifts in the quality of your life. These shifts are the direct cause for a new and unique kind of freedom and power—the freedom to be absolutely at ease no matter what the circumstance; the power to be in action effectively in those areas that are important to you.

94% of participants say that The Landmark Forum made a profound, lasting difference in the way they lived their lives. They report major positive results in:
  • The quality of their relationships
  • The confidence with which they conduct their lives
  • The level of their personal productivity
  • The experience of the difference they make
  • The degree to which they enjoy their lives
See independent research and what people say.

Find out about transformative learning and Landmark’s breakthrough technology.

The Landmark Forum: How It Works

The Landmark Forum is designed to bring about a transformation in what is possible in people's lives. Grounded in a model of transformative learning, it gives participants an awareness of the basic structures in which we know, think, and act in the world. From that awareness comes a fundamental shift that leaves us more fully in accord with our own possibilities and those of others. This shift is not a one-time event, but an ongoing access to a previously untapped dimension of effectiveness and creativity.

The Landmark Forum offers a practical methodology for producing breakthroughs—achievements that are extraordinary, outside the limits of what’s already predictable, attainable, or known. Participants find themselves able to think and act beyond existing views and limits—in their personal and professional lives, relationships, and wider communities of interest. Read the course syllabus for a day-by-day description.

For more informatioon please visit


Thursday 19 November 2015

6 Ways To Be Happier Today

6 Ways to Be Happier Today

Here’s something you are probably relieved to hear:

I’m not always the zealous, go-getting entrepreneur you see on the internet.

Like everyone else, I have my bad days too.

We all have these moments, but it’s how we get through them that matters.

So here’s the good news: even on bad says you have the power to influence – I might even venture to say control – your mood or the course of how your day will go.

You play an active role in your own happiness – that includes good moods, great days and celebratory moments.

All things happiness are yours for the taking.

I’ve got the how on this whole “take your happiness into your own hands” deal:
  1. Take a gratitude inventory – No, not counting every granule of sugar in the jar. Rather, I am talking about taking inventory of our lives. Misery often comes from the comparison of where we feel we should be in life versus where we are. Instead of lamenting where you think you should be, take the time to take inventory of where you are and what you have accomplished – you may very well surprise yourself.
  2. Make time for yourself – Kids running about, house a mess and everything is chaos; who has time for “me” time? That’s often how I feel, but EVERYONE needs time off… even you! Whether it is catching up on a show or just some meditation, maybe even taking time for an online course, calendar in time for yourself. Pick something you love to do… and just do it!
  3. Get organized – “Oh, but you just said to relax!” Organization doesn’t have to mean spring cleaning your entire home. An organized space (kitchen, office, living, digital files, doesn’t matter) allows you to set things up “your way”, you don’t have to think about where to find anything or where you last put those brainstorming notes you jotted down brilliant ideas on… It is sooooo satisfying, I promise!
  4. Take one step towards your dream – You’ve had an idea, an idea for a book, a business or something you’ve been wanting to do for a while. Phenomenal! Take one step towards that every day. It does not matter how small or big – just take the first step. Money or time an issue? Set aside small increments of time to start taking steps towards said dream; if money is in your way, abuse those free resources you’ll find all over the web.
  5. Mix things up – A routine is great but it can also dig a nice little chasm for you if you let it. It doesn’t have to be anything over the top (although I would encourage this if you’re excited about something). Take a different route to work, add a new activity to your morning routine, try a new food – just do something different. Monotony can make even the most innovative people shut down their creative & energetic paradise. You don’t have to stick with small shake-ups either, but it’s also an easy way to get started.
  6. Talk to yourself – Really. Check in with yourself. Let’s return back to my original point: happiness is in the hand of the seeker. Put simply, you are the one that is in charge of your happiness and looking inside of yourself and finding answers. Take the time and really dig down for answers. Journal. Ask yourself “what would make me happier today?” Meditate. However you communicate with yourself, don’t ignore that little voice that responds.

No matter how you feel and how insurmountable the uphill climb looks – you’ve got this.

Start with one step – any of the above or even something you’ve thought of yourself, it doesn’t matter. With every step, you master the art of being the creator of your happiness.

There’s no time like the present to start.

Starting now – I’ll even just say starting today – what are you going to be the boss of your own joy?


Sunday 15 November 2015


yoga sport person 

Personal Development - Definition
Personal Development covers activities that improve awareness and identity, develop talents and potential, build human capital and facilitate employability, enhance quality of life and contribute to the realization of dreams and aspirations. Not limited to self-help, the concept involves formal and informal activities for developing others in roles such as teacher, guide, counselor, manager, life coach or mentor. When personal development takes place in the context of institutions, it refers to the methods, programs, tools, techniques, and assessment systems that support human development at the individual level in organisations.

shanghai life community

Life Coaching - Definition

Life Coaching is the ​activity of helping ​clients decide what they want in their ​lives and how to ​achieve it: Life ​coaching is about looking ​forward, rather than looking into your past for ​solutions to problems.

3 #personaldevelopment Books That Changed My Life - Brian Tracy

Just doing some research on some books to get you started in this area, and for myself.  Let me know if you have any top tips for personal development books or life coaching books and I will check them out.  I'm currently reading the 3rd book Brian mentions:

Here's some links if you'd like to read more or buy a copy of the books Brian mentions:

Sunday 1 November 2015


Welcome to my blog on Personal Development, Life Coaching, and basically anything and everything I think might be of use to help you realise your potential and make yourself happy, whether that's personally, professionally, nutritionally or all of the above!